We all have tough relationships. And we usually ask questions about them like, “Why are they doing this to me?” Or, “Why are they acting so badly?” Best-Selling author and certified Behavior Change Specialist Bryan Falchuk asks, what if it’s not them, but you? He doesn’t mean you are the problem per se, but whether or not you’re the reason for the difficulty in the relationship, you can still be the reason for the solution. That idea is what he calls, “The 50 75 100 Solution,” which he teaches in this TEDx talk. Starting with three Buddhist principles, Falchuk goes on to explain how these can be used to see our control and influence over the majority of any relationship dynamic, and how recognizing and using that can lead the relationship to be 100% better.

You can watch the video here or on YouTube.